grouplove

was such a party

oh hey senior pics and stuff

we took tons but here are a few

Guess who got asked to prom.....

Yup. This chick.

Graduation Speech 2nd edition

Holly Castleton- Graduation Speech

“If I should have a daughter instead of “Mom”, she’s gonna call me “Point B.” Because that way, she knows that no matter what happens, at least she can always find her way to me. And I’m going to paint the solar system on the back of her hands so that she has to learn the entire universe before she can say “Oh, I know that like the back of my hand.”/ She’s gonna learn that this life will hit you, hard, in the face, wait for you to get back up so it can kick you in the stomach. But getting the wind knocked out of you is the only way to remind your lungs how much they like the taste of air. There is hurt, here, that cannot be fixed by band-aids or poetry, so the first time she realizes that Wonder-woman isn’t coming, I’ll make sure she knows she doesn’t have to wear the cape all by herself. Because no matter how wide you stretch your fingers, your hands will always be too small to catch all the pain you want to heal. Believe me, I’ve tried./ And “Baby,” I’ll tell her “don’t keep your nose up in the air like that, I know that trick, you’re just smelling for smoke so you can follow the trail back to a burning house so you can find the boy who lost everything in the fire to see if you can save him. Or else, find the boy who lit the fire in the first place to see if you can change him.”/ But I know that she will anyway, so instead I’ll always keep an extra supply of chocolate and rain boats nearby, ‘cause there is no heartbreak that chocolate can’t fix. Okay, there’s a few heartbreaks chocolate can’t fix. But that’s what the rain boots are for, because rain will wash away everything if you let it. /I want her to see the world through the underside of a glass bottom boat, to look through a magnifying glass at the galaxies that exist on the pin point of a human mind. Because that’s how my mom taught me. That there’ll be days like this, “There’ll be days like this my momma said” when you open your hands to catch and wind up with only blisters and bruises. When you step out of the phone booth and try to fly and the very people you wanna save are the ones standing on your cape. When your boots will fill with rain and you’ll be up to your knees in disappointment and those are the very days you have all the more reason to say “thank you,” ‘cause there is nothing more beautiful than the way the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shoreline no matter how many times it’s sent away. /You will put the “wind” in win some lose some, you will put the “star” in starting over and over, and no matter how many land mines erupt in a minute be sure your mind lands on the beauty of this funny place called life/ Remember that good things come in threes and so do bad things and always apologize when you’ve done something wrong but don’t you ever apologize for the way your eyes refuse to stop shining. /Your voice is small but don’t ever stop singing and when they finally hand you heartbreak, slip hatred and war under your doorstep and hand you hand-outs on street corners of cynicism and defeat, you tell them that they really ought to meet your mother.”

That’s parts of Point B by the poet Sarah Kay. My name is Holly Castleton. I figured I would introduce myself because though you may recognize my face, I keep to myself and don’t know most of you. But I have made a study of you, Class of 2014. I have watched you and oh, the things I saw. I saw thousands of tweets, the endless feed of selfies on Instagram and those awkward and socially unacceptable snapchat faces we sent (seriously though, how is that so entertaining?). But, do you remember the way we all felt a part of the whole when we went to football games, listening to the marching band as our pumping hearts became synchronized with the beat? I remember those times at assemblies when we all were forced into that sweaty, disgusting mass of people but came away with that existential feeling of belonging, of being a part of a whole.

But this is high school and those feelings of belonging last just about as long as 99% of 13 year old relationships. (Spoiler alert: They don’t). I watched pretty girls cross examine themselves in the mirror, examining and re-examining every possible flaw in their hair, their clothes, and their body. Somehow under the allusion that just one more layer of makeup or to lose just a few more pounds would do the trick and they would finally be beautiful, little knowing that they already were. I saw people get ignored and forgotten among those who were once friends. I saw heartbreak. But. Don’t despair oh Class of 2014. For this is not the end and what beauty have I also seen! And I did, I saw you! I saw your random acts of kindness. I saw the people holding doors, I saw people helping other people carry stuff around, I saw the smiles from one stranger to another. I saw friendship. I saw a girl help another girl who was crying in the bathroom, someone she had never talked to, comforting her. I saw friends overcome differences and forgive each other. I saw one kid go up to a boy huddled in the hallway and make sure he was ok and asked his name. I heard the people that weren’t afraid to tell someone they liked their outfit or their talent. I saw those everyday acts of bravery and I saw you reaching out to your fellow man- and it was beautiful.

That is humanity. Partly exaggerated by hormones and our lack of development in our frontal lobe, things like followers on Twitter, we have or how much money we make, what kind of a car we drive seem really important but here is a fact for you: they are basically meaningless. Life is about the people we meet and the lives we change. Once we realize that “this life will hit [everyone], hard, in the face, wait for you to get back up so it can kick you in the stomach” we are more empowered to help others. Everyone has struggles. Remember that you are in control of your own self and frankly not much else. Remember that there are beautiful things and actions all around us, we just have to look. This life is about seeing things in a new way, “to see the world through the underside of a glass bottom boat, to look through a magnifying glass at the galaxies that exist on the pin point of a human mind”, to move past the material on to how to contribute to the connectedness of mankind.  That poem was about a woman thinking about what she would teach her daughter and it makes me think about what our parents and teachers wanted us to learn in the take-home-life-lessons kind of way. I know they did their best to try and teach us mostly because, as my examples of kindness prove, they succeeded. Our job to take what we have learned from faculty, parents and peers create a life we love, one full of random acts of kindness. Welcome to the beginning of your life- one great big do-it-yourself project. If I was to offer any wisdom of my newly graduated-from-high-school-self it would be this: don’t forget. Don’t forget feeling alone and small, let those memories help you be kinder to others. Don’t forget your worst days so that when you realize someone is feeling the same way, you can do that kind deed that maybe no one did for you. To quote author John Green “You are going to live a good and long life filled with great and terrible moments that you cannot even imagine yet!”  This is an end, but really, it’s just the beginning.

The Single Lady

My apathy levels were dangerously high today and as Stacie said, my sassy pants were a little tight. BUT I DID SOME PERSONAL FINANCE SO YAY FOR ME. My three closest friends all have boyfriends currently and ALL THE SINGLE LADIES has been reduced to that one, single lady. Which sounds like an old maid. Welp thats awesome and I will now have no friends.... Its ok because Oreos still taste delicious with Goldfish and btw popcorn is SO GOOD and I still have netflix and pinterest and on that note: Some Pins for you

Anyway today I got a prom dress and I LOVE IT SO MUCH. I was going to borrow Sydney and I did't love it. FUN FACT I am excessively pick about dresses. Tomorrow I am taking senior pictures with my mama and have bio and we are getting food and I am so pumped. WINGS AND PAZOOKIE. I say unto you, there is nothing better.

If I was to write a graduation speech....

There is like a contest going on at school so I wrote one for kicks and giggles.

Holly Castleton- Graduation Speech

“If I should have a daughter instead of “Mom”, she’s gonna call me “Point B.” Because that way, she knows that no matter what happens, at least she can always find her way to me. And I’m going to paint the solar system on the back of her hands so that she has to learn the entire universe before she can say “Oh, I know that like the back of my hand.”/ She’s gonna learn that this life will hit you, hard, in the face, wait for you to get back up so it can kick you in the stomach. But getting the wind knocked out of you is the only way to remind your lungs how much they like the taste of air. There is hurt, here, that cannot be fixed by band-aids or poetry, so the first time she realizes that Wonder-woman isn’t coming, I’ll make sure she knows she doesn’t have to wear the cape all by herself. Because no matter how wide you stretch your fingers, your hands will always be too small to catch all the pain you want to heal. Believe me, I’ve tried./ And “Baby,” I’ll tell her “don’t keep your nose up in the air like that, I know that trick, you’re just smelling for smoke so you can follow the trail back to a burning house so you can find the boy who lost everything in the fire to see if you can save him. Or else, find the boy who lit the fire in the first place to see if you can change him.”/ But I know that she will anyway, so instead I’ll always keep an extra supply of chocolate and rain boats nearby, ‘cause there is no heartbreak that chocolate can’t fix. Okay, there’s a few heartbreaks chocolate can’t fix. But that’s what the rain boots are for, because rain will wash away everything if you let it. /I want her to see the world through the underside of a glass bottom boat, to look through a magnifying glass at the galaxies that exist on the pin point of a human mind. Because that’s how my mom taught me. That there’ll be days like this, “There’ll be days like this my momma said” when you open your hands to catch and wind up with only blisters and bruises. When you step out of the phone booth and try to fly and the very people you wanna save are the ones standing on your cape. When your boots will fill with rain and you’ll be up to your knees in disappointment and those are the very days you have all the more reason to say “thank you,” ‘cause there is nothing more beautiful than the way the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shoreline no matter how many times it’s sent away. /You will put the “wind” in win some lose some, you will put the “star” in starting over and over, and no matter how many land mines erupt in a minute be sure your mind lands on the beauty of this funny place called life. /And yes, on a scale from one to over-trusting I am pretty dang naive but I want her to know that this world is made out of sugar. It can crumble so easily but don’t be afraid to stick your tongue out and taste it. / “Baby,” I’ll tell her “remember your mama is a worrier but your papa is a warrior and you are the girl with small hands and big eyes who never stops asking for more.”/ Remember that good things come in threes and so do bad things and always apologize when you’ve done something wrong but don’t you ever apologize for the way your eyes refuse to stop shining. /Your voice is small but don’t ever stop singing and when they finally hand you heartbreak, slip hatred and war under your doorstep and hand you hand-outs on street corners of cynicism and defeat, you tell them that they really ought to meet your mother.”

That’s Point B by the poet Sarah Kay and is my favorite poem. My name is Holly Castleton. I figured I would introduce myself because though you may recognize my face, in the world of the RMHS social scene I am kind of a nobody. If I was to be known for anything it would be that if I spoke in class it was to answer the question or make a sarcastic comment. I have made a study of you, Class of 2014. I have watched you and oh, the things I saw. I saw the complaining on Twitter, the endless feed of selfies on Instagram and those awkward and socially unacceptable snapchat faces we sent (seriously though, how is that so entertaining?). But, do you remember the way we all felt a part of the whole when we went to football games listening to the marching band as our pumping hearts became synchronized with the beat? I remember those times at assemblies when we all were forced into that sweaty, disgusting mass of people but came away with that existential feeling of belonging, of being a part of a whole.

But this is high school and those feelings of belonging last just about as long as 13 year old relationships. (Spoiler alert: They don’t). I watched pretty girls cross examine themselves in the mirror, examining and re-examining every possible flaw in their hair, their clothes, and their body. Somehow under the allusion that just one more layer of makeup or to loose just a few more pounds would do the trick and they would finally be beautiful little knowing that they already were. I saw people get made fun of, ignored and forgotten. I watched the explosions of anger as friends turned on each other. I saw selfishness, I saw vanity, and I saw heartbreak. I was not excluded. I have come home from school sometimes so emotionally beat-up and battered that it takes everything I have to keep going. But. Don’t despair oh Class of 2014. For this is not the end for you or for me and my study is not complete. What beauty have I also seen! And I did, I saw you! I saw your random acts of kindness. I saw the people holding doors, I saw people helping other people carry stuff around, I saw the smiles from one stranger to another. I saw forgiveness, I saw friendship. I saw a girl help another girl crying in the bathroom she had never talked to, comforting her. I saw one kid go up to a boy huddled in the hallway and make sure he was ok and asked his name. I saw the people that whispered complements to those they came in contact with. I saw those everyday acts of bravery and I saw you reaching out to your fellow man- and it was beautiful.

This is humanity. Maybe exaggerated by hormones and our lack of development in our frontal lobe, but still, just humanity. This is the only the first chapter of our lives and any ugly experiences in these past three years do not have to define us. Our job to take what we have learned from faculty, parents and peers create a life we love, one full of random acts of kindness. Because in the end, it doesn’t matter how many likes we got on Instagram or how many followers on Twitter we have (or for when we are adults, how much money we make, what kind of a car we drive). It’s about the people we meet and the lives we change. Once we realize that “this life will hit [everyone], hard, in the face, wait for you to get back up so it can kick you in the stomach” we are more empowered to help others. Everyone has struggles. Remember that you are in control of your own self and frankly not much else. Remember that there are beautiful things and actions all around us, we just have to look. Welcome to the beginning of your life- one great big do-it-yourself project. My one piece of advice is this: don’t forget. Don’t forget feeling alone and small, let those memories help you be kinder to others. Don’t forget your worst days so that when you realize someone is feeling the same way, you can do that kind deed that maybe no one did for you. To quote author John Green “You are going to live a good and long life filled with great and terrible moments that you cannot even imagine yet!”  This is an end, but really, it’s just the beginning.

Who are you when you talk?

How many words do we say that are truly our own? I find myself saying whole paragraphs that are a collage of someone else's. Movie quotes and songs peppered with opinions of teachers and idioms from parents, one-liners from books and funny Facebook posts. But at the same time, aren't all words just borrowed, recycled things? Whether phrases that you say every three sentences or deep thoughts expressed by poets philosophers and prophets. I think all originality in word-making-speaking comes from the organization of words but I find it interesting that as humans, we tend to borrow others. Think about it when you talk- who am I really speaking as? Who did I pick this up from? Most of my expressions come from movies and my parents.

Liberal? No you are dumb

I have been told multiple times that I am liberal. If that means that I don't just agree with someones political views because they are Mormon and talk loud, or if something is hailed as conservative or Republican, than I guess I am. Frankly people that have labeled me that way I see as wholly uneducated on the subject because I am totally not. When it comes down to it, I am more of a centrist than anything else. I am a feminist in that I believe that woman are just as capable as men, if not more and that we are not subservient to them simply because of our gender, but that we are equal and should be treated as such- as human beings, not objects that need to be organized and controlled. So ya, I consider myself a feminist, but a super lame kind- one that firmly intends to be a wife and a stay-at-home-mother. I enjoy reading liberal columnists because they make a lot of sense about things, but I am not in favor of gay marriage, I am pro-choice (because who is anti choice? Satan. But I am firmly against abortion. Adoption people) and I am inclined to less welfare and less taxes. I think the more accurate description of my political personality is that I am my fathers daughter and I enjoy playing devil's advocate. I demand that people prove their point to me and explain their reasoning and usually do so by being on the opposite side. I think people, and Mormons my age in particular, just vomit up what their parents who only watch Glenn Beck think (This isn't a slam on Glenn Beck, the danger is that its their ONLY source of political perspective). Because of that dangerous Single Story (look up the TED talk, its wonderful) I tend to discredit them because I know more about the issue than they do, and most of the time from both sides- therefore I am liberal. What an insult to conservatives, that those who are educated and well-informed are liberal. I doubt that is true for the professional circles but it my small realm, it definitely is.

Cool things to do with or for cool people

Bring then flowers
Go ice skating but pretend like you are from somewhere and have never seen ice before
Flower bomb a part of their life. Like their room. or car
HIKE ALL THE TIME
Kidnapping all the time
        "Get in loser we are going shopping" but at Goodwill
         Get in we are going to the museum
         Get in we are driving to somewhere with a view and taking hipster pictures
         Get in I am buying ice cream
         Wake up we are going stargazing
         Get in we are going to find a piano store and play them all
Visit National Parks
GO TO A DRIVE IN MOVIE

ok this is really like a college to do list.

cali trip with my bfs